1) Unicorns were once a very real species of animal. Anthropologist now know that they were also all gay and lesbian, and thus tragically stopped reproducing.
2) Gay marriage will result in Jesus abandoning America and offering his patronage to China. This will leave America without a God, and in desperation the nation will be forced to seek blessings from far less popular and also decidedly less powerful deities. Such as Nick; God of Biscuits. Or Sally; Goddess of Red (and ONLY red, because yellow kick balls are blasphemous in the eyes of Sally) Kick Balls.
3) Gay couples will begin to adopt. This will possibly reduce employment for foster parents, orphanages, and social workers. Nothing is more Unamerican than taking away jobs from American citizens.
4) Health experts have released new findings that warn if you touch a Gay person, then eat without washing your hands, there is a 30% chance you will contract Gay.
5) There is a direct correlation between the increasing homosexual population, the decline of Saturday Night Live, the extinction of the Tasmanian Tiger, and the rising sea levels.
6) Top scientist have now discovered that there can only be one type of marriage at any given time. This means that if gay marriage comes into existence, straight marriage will automatically vanish. Far worse, any babies born to these straight marriages, who are not at least a year in age, will cease to exist.
7) Protect your children. Teaching them tolerance of gays can only lead to acceptance, and acceptance will always lead to curiosity, and curiosity will inevitably lead to homosexuality.
8) Homosexuality causes selfish behavior. Such is evident in the way Gays have made a blatant power grab concerning the rainbow as their official symbol. Now, due to deceptive and underhanded legal wrangling, it has become illegal for anyone who is not gay to use any of these copyrighted colors.
9) Gay men spread communism...with their penises.
10) In the beginning there was a single Lesbian. But Lesbianism is like vampirism. If any woman is bitten by a Lesbian and dose not seek immediate medical treatment (I.E rubbing a bible, or failing that, a penis on the effected area) she will become one of them by the next full moon.